What happen to other can happen to us

It is really rare that for me to be able to write something based on a very negative incident that had just happen in my country. but perhaps for learning to write well, one can really pick up ideas from anywhere at times. although i do feel bad for whatever happen to the victim (the victim died in a lock up and this is already the third news happen within 2 weeks time which i am aware off) which do really make us wonder if the police are actually a very ethical and follow principal type of people anymore. they always tell others to follow the rules , that the citizen must abide by laws but they seem to be the first one that had difficulty to follow the rules considering that people can die right under their nose.

the point here is i guess that the victim remind me of one thing. that whatever happen to others can happen to us . although at most of the times for me i will usually not to bother about other people business but i do learn that at times if you do nothing  to lessen the bad thing from occuring, you are practically giving that bad thing permission to do the same to you in future. This is not something i learn from reflecting but because this is something had happen to me few years back and probably still happening now and will happen again in future.

but i guess my country can be as good as doom. though no matter how good our country newspaper will put the light spot of our country development and so on, deep inside of each and every one of us know that there is the other side of the story that the newspaper will not publish (the entire publishing company staffs will have to very principal and courageous to do the right thing considering they can be the next one dying in lock up and many other factors since the people they are dealing may not only be government political offcial but also other type of very evil persons who may found personal-interest to do that  ) . so for me,  some newspaper i'm reading is another version of disneyland newspaper in our country .

     


 

customer service position

I remember at one point of time when i had decided to go for an interview for customer service position. everything seem to be normal until when the interview start. It was then the interviewer said " are you aware that our customer service job is actually face to face job?" . in a way that one are suppose to meet customer face to face and service the customer? Since it was actually sales job,  my application interview on that day are cancel  . Few weeks later on the same company advertise the same customer service position again.

My question are probably lie in the fact that why use customer service title advertising if you are looking for a Salesman person? Though at times i can quite understand   if one are really misunderstood  or does not intentionally wrote it in this way. but for this person, what i sense is a total dishonest from the interviewer. that the intention of the interviewer wasn't really because they are looking for someone competent in their work but because they are afraid someone maybe doing better sales than them and uproot them because of that?

for one thing is sure, that at the times when people are jobless , sleeping on the floor of the city , such advertisement with fake title are not going to help anyone other than giving the wrong statistic information. and it also push away those who can bring the real earning to the company , wasted money of those who come for interview only to find out that this interviewer put a misleading information.

so far, very few interviewer that had make me so angry among the countless  interview i attend.  the interviewer may hold the rights to publish whatever the interviewer want, but do take a bit consideration for those who take the troubles to come all the way for interview .  for this will show your real character of who you really are.

tobacco originate myth

While i am doing a bit reading i come across a very stunning myth stories about the origin of tobacco . Contrast to the native american tales which has put tobacco as a very good plant , this myth of tobacco may be actually originate from a demon female monthly period????!!!! Although i do trust the statement written by fpmt (because i myself experience blessings that come from buddha teaching and mantra )  I have to said that is a very shocking to think that tobacco which is made into cigarattes.  The thought that come into my mind is how many human beings in this earth are now smoking something that originate from a demon female period and didn't even know about it!!!   

And also the fact that the tobacco smoke can cause inauspicious comets influence and no rain in a country. So i guess another possible reason when the rain does not come , and having water crisis in country can be happen due to the fact  that everyone is smoking????

There are also other harmful influences mention coming from the tobacco itself. but i guess this is another wake up myth that how our own habit can contribute to the negative environment in our life. 

Sociopath

after a continuous situations that happen in my life for the past few years, i finally have the chance to find out what was all the strange thing i encounter in my life such as being harass by strangers and so on. One clue that point to the possible reason of what i kept on having difficulties are probably because the people i am dealing with has sociopath personality. in a simple short form of conclusion of what define sociopath are they intend to manipulate everyone so they can get what they want without able to feel anything and are law breaker themself. in short, i think they are more dangerous than psychopath personality.

Rather to said a categorise personality , i probably was trying to find the clue of who are trying to mess up my life , who is currently unemploy and keep on harassing me at every opportunity. to the point even people i never meet and know are willing to help such person to ruin another stranger life. and sociopath description seem to fit in nicely.

so what does sociopath do in their life? from what i read they can a very successful people in career, people who look normal and charming . one you will not think that they are evil . and the joy of their life seem to be derive from trying to cheat / lie and to see whether they can get out of it without being catch. other than that, their most enjoying activity is to ruin their victim in the sense call "torturing" until they got bored and move to the next victim.  and their victim are often said to be one they can gain benefit from such as people who are highly connected and successful possibly even happy person although there also claim that they like to target the unsuspected victim.

while their victims who manage to wake up about their true nature are often find themself in extremely physically , emotionally and spiritually damage by such sociopath. in fact, quite many of their victim can be get killed in the process. while those who survive this are facing with court orders, harassment , cut into pieces and lots more problems in their life. from what i read, the sociopath will even consider get rid of their victim who will expose the truth about them . but from my own experience, if the one i met in my past is a sociopath  , not exposing the truth is even far more worst consequences as sociopath see others as an object to accomplish what they want .  in other word, people dearest to you are just an object for them  to manipulate .

one suggestion made by others is to run when you see one but i don't think that is actually useful.  although i am trying to make living in another places, this people i consider as sociopath was actually hunting me no matter where i goes work. i guess the best possible solution is to cut ties/ distance yourself if you ever notice one. Although i'm not sure "fight back" is going to be good as once you start the fight, you may have to fight it for decades long.

but one thing seem to true is that sociopath will make things convenience for them even if this mean that getting the law to be on their side. or amending things to convenience them . so i am wondering  that sociopath are now known as "antisocial personality disorder" was it influence by another sociopath as well? it seem to me sociopath was never antisocial since they had such good social skill and can act so well to blend in the community to manipulate another one.

another thing for sure, that sociopath will hurt the feeling of those who ever care about them. as we are merely an object for their goal. although this is something i probably wanted to be as well as sometimes too caring about others really burn one ownself. Although i don't intend to be one but to be able to feeling nothing about others is something i really need now. I too wanted to stop crying because of others fault.

*if you think you cannot avoid sociopath, avoid them from getting know your family and friends and personal details. a sociopath will want to know so much that they will even ask for personal details from unsuspecting people. for example asking your neighbour what you are doing when this has nothing to do with your work. 

* you will probably end up becoming a psychopath /sociopath yourself if you are not able to handle this correctly. since one of the sociopath characteristics is said to pass on their behavior to you. 

Great Power whether it is good or bad depend on the one who holds it.

"Great Power whether it is good or bad depend on the one who holds it. " This is something i heard about when i was still young back then. It is also a favourite plot that you can see in anime or manga . The stories how one use the power to do evil for their own interest , and the other party who try uses it for good purpose .  But if one thing anime can show out about the reality in their fantasy stories, that will be the reality of human heart nature can be in a very simple way (in reality you may be getting more than few dozens twists and turns about the same thing) .

So if a person in this earth do hold a power there are two basic ways to categorise it how one will use it. in a simple example, supposing one has a powerful antidote remedy to AIDS sickness which can cure a person after 1 time injection completely . how would that means to those people who are going through such sickness. This person will probably sell it to the highest bidders for profits reason and only those who can afford to pay it will get the treatment. So what happen if you happen to be the one who cannot afford to pay for it? 

when one is less tolerate to others

Being sensitive to other people needs and tolerate can sometimes being the hardest thing of all. this is because everyone had a limited capacity in their own situation which no one else will ever know about it. in a very simple scenario , it will be like someone who is just graduate and already own a car . While the other graduate and rely on public transport to go anywhere (due to their own circumstances). let say, both of these two are working for the same company. when an incident/ event happen at another location,  the one with car can straight drive and reach there within 20 minutes. On the other hand, another one had to take 1 hour and 30 minute to reach the same location as there are no direct public transport to reach there directly.

i'm not sure whether others are aware about this, but it been quite some time since i was always being harass by those strangers (to be honest, i never work with them in the same company nor do i know them at all) . But the funniest part of all, they are always trying to manipulate me in order to accomplish something. they will go all the way to make sure i couldn't attend interviews as if that i sitting at home measuring floor will ever benefit them in some way. yeah, sure i gonna be another coach potato soon with peoplephobia symptom developing soon since i was actually harass by them for over a year or 2 by now. so it probably wise that i should said that " you are not my parents. why the heck you want to control me? " and that if you ever want to control anyone and rip them of their freedom, you can only do that to your own children. which when you know you will not do that to your own children, you don't even had any rights to do that to others who barely even know you.

although all these originate from an office politics that had once happen in one of the company i had used to work in. it is definitely driving me crazy as these people do not know what is the boundary of what can be do and what mustn't be do. to the point i do think that they no longer can differentiate what is right and what is wrong .  but i guess i was being naive , thinking everyone is mature enough to know what is the right thing to do. in case you do meet with such kind of people, do be very careful as they tend to spread off their psychology disorder issue and soon enough you will become the next carrier of psychology disorder spreading it to others you come in contact.      

I'm not sure why they love to try to threaten, harass and even attempt to control me . but they should really know now that i had no interest of living that kind of life ever. and i do held them responsible for causing me unable to hold on to my jobs and even attending interviews since starting from the past few years. although not everything happen during my working are all their fault, but they had fault for participating in it directly and indirectly.

i'm sorry to say that if such model of working world are being incorporate into kindergarden world. even the most healthiest child may grow up being partially impair. which is why some of us are being push to self-suicide. but i wasn't that lucky as i probably meant to live a long life with emotional abuse suffering all the way to my last breath if judging from my present situation.

one may wonder why i do wrote this again. as i have stated, sometimes blogging it out will help end this situation where i always felt i was being harass even when i am merely  going on shopping or taking public transport. funnily, this really did work out for me before.

* do note that not everyone will encounter such situation as this is probably personal karma and the other person wrong view which cause the problems.  as i believe the main reason they are doing this is because they wanted to hide some truth and hoping no one will ever discover it even after everyone long death.  i could be wrong on this but i do not see what make others will go all the way even at the expenses of using extra petrol except for in order to control more companies under their nose. but because i had once under such kind of people before, i do know that their work performance result are actually below those who don't resort to using such dirty tricks (the main reason why company always lose their profits from the inside). this is also why i no longer believe that anyone who play such politics such way are capable to create and also maintain profits of the company.

* whether i do blog this out or not, one sure things is they'll always attack me for the rest of my life.  till my last breath in this earth to be exact.  but probably no one else will know about it beside me and them.

Phone interview session

If there is any changes in the world of applying and securing a job or future career, i would said that the biggest changes i felt so far would be interview straight from the phone (at the very least , in my area ) . I think this was the 2nd time since i was being straight ask for a direct interview through phone . But i guess this is how the employer thought of getting straight to the point and eliminated unnecessary appointment times. (since i was applying for position that has everything related to using phone, so i guess it is only natural that they probably wanted to straight find out whether the applicants can converse the language fluently ). 


Well i guess i do wonder whether phone interview do helps a lot or not for such situation. if the person happen to be a technician , a phone interview may not be able to show much (unless it is 1 vacancy versus hundreds applicants).

unfortunately this time , i think i didn't survive the phone interview. but i guess it could be a blessing in disguise if it didn't turn out as how i hope it to be. i had just recently merely relearn back that sometimes when something did not happen as what you hope to be, it can actually mean that regardless what you do the outcome can actually be far worser than you did not get it in the first place. as the saying goes "not every rainbow has a gold pot" . yet, if you are not aiming for gold pot , it can be a pleasant journey walk a long the rainbow for certain situation. its just that i always felt that there are some negative thing / event that are trying to impose wrong truth/teachings so that i will took the wrong path and fall into evil path again.   

when age doesn't mean one is wiser

I had hid a mid life at this point of this writing, if it is said on the term of age i would have been assume that i had collected at least 10 years of experience in adult world. But if anyone know me closely, they would really think that even those younger than me are much more wiser than i would. And thus this is why when sometimes a person who is older than one does not necessary mean they are wiser.

If the factor of age are consider to be the absolute truth that the more older person are more wiser person, then we should be concluding that there shouldn't be any family problems that arise from drugs , alcohol and gambling. If you look at the news, one knows that it is always that the parents who is a drug addicts who abuse their spouse and children. Does this make the person is much wiser than spouse or children just because he is older than them? And yes, there are times that it was the teenage himself/herself that got involve in such addiction , which also mean that children alone may not necessary making the right choices in their life as well.

The factor of wise actually maybe comprise of a lot of elements. just as one who is smart in mathematics does not mean they are expect of linguistic or the other way round. One maybe expect in technology but when it come to money wise, one can be as broke as ever. 

Even the closest one to you give you some advise, you should really reflect on their advice and learn to think for yourself. This is because not all the advise are necessary wise and it'll come to the point where you may one day leave those closest to you and you had to take charge of your own life (such as building a new family).  By then you will need to be as wise as possible to ensure that you and your family living in a happy and harmony environment until old age and happily for many generations . out of trouble , out of life calamities . By now i only finally realise that evil is at everywhere, at every single twist and turn in your life. It can happen as soon as you are turning your body to left or right.


Sincerely,
the idiot who is not wise ;)
May you will live a much happy and wiser life .

passport to next life

A thought suddenly occur in my mind that while human may be seem to be the most populated in this earth, but when it come to the next life, we may be like a baby wondering in a dark until we saw something. Perhaps that is the reason why i have been so deeply faith in religion teaching of buddha, that should one day i move on to the next life , that i may have a guidance and being lead correctly on what to do. After all not all human can actually guide you to the next better life rebirth (considering majority of us don't even know how is the stage of dying is gonna be or look like). So it is like a passport to the next life. But this passport unlike others, need to be work very hard to earn the right for it. Otherwise most of it will be change to sustain and overcome your present life difficulties (as if you had reserve some money to obtain a passport but your house electrical need to be refix and you use your passport money for that).

So while i may not really understand anything about this practical life , how to deal with so call life , there is something that no one else can really do it for us.for me, that is to be prepare for next life. Though i maybe reciting a lot of mantras now, but i am not sure how much i actually did progress (most likely almost all are being channel to purify my past karma ). After all , i had no idea how many lifetimes i had been before this and whether i did a lot of idiots karma in my past life.

Karma

This time i would like to write a bit about something call karma. Originally i thought karma mean "you reap what you sow" , which in other word, the final consequences of your action. After quite many years later, i started to understand that karma mean " your action"  or basically what you did. And thus this time i am going to say about negative karma because i found something interesting about it.

Karma can actually divided by many types, fixed karma which are similar to why you are born in a family , in a country  and not the other places. There are also other kind of karma which are ripen immediately , some which will happen only in this life many years later and some are brought forward and only happen to your next life.

And when one commit a negative karma by having a single bad thought just for a moment, you may have created a deadly karma which will ripen on yourself .  Even if it is just a single thought and thus it is register in your soul as one dot or karma, the most scary part of karma is that it is multiplying as the time progress .  And more to my astonishment , a single dot of your negative karma effect can equal to your entire neighbourhood . And so what happen when one day your this one tiny dot karma grow to the size of your entire body? And if you compare it with the size of your one tiny dot karma, how big would your negative karma at the size of a body will result once it is ripen? This is one thing so scary about karma . The good news are, karma can be purify.  If you really think of purifying your karma, consider of following the precepts as well because if you don't , its like you are keep pouring stain into your white cloth (committing negative karma) and you have to keep on washing the same cloth (purifying karma) again and again and again. 

125,000 Om Post

Here as i am browsing the internet, i came across an out of fun page about mantra. The author deliberately on fun decided to post 125,000 Om words on it. So i got curious and decide to play around it for awhile (using the suggestion idea of scroll down and scroll up).  I pretty sure that one of my major karma of mind karma really had been purify for scrolling up and down. 

I included this page in case you are interested to take a look :)
http://www.swamij.com/om-mantra-125000.htm

The mistakes of knowing wrong friends

In chinese proverbs, there is a wisdom which mention that one has to be very careful with what kind of companies one keep as. There is a very real reason behind this. In the past, a person maybe born rich or had a very good fortune life, however if such person had make friends with people whose intention aren't mean you well , the consequences can be very ill.

In older time, if you by chance make friends with friends who love to drinks . And their habit of drinking rubs into your life, you may end up growing up with a bad drinking habits . This  kind of friends may mean you no harm, so they probably ruin your life to the point of being a drunkard person . On the other hand. if the person meet people who intend to cheat the person money away, pretending as friends and later on bring the person to gambling . This person may one day end up losing everything he has for knowing a false friends.

Regardless what era of time our world has change, from ancients to modern life. This are one of the things that remain in human nature that there are scammers , cheaters and liars now as well as in future. And don't ever think that this will only happen to younger generations only. Even if you are elderly person, you are still liable to come across such situation. As long as the other person has a motive/ reason to do that (for example, they saw that you had some assets or cheating you will let them gain some advantages in future )

Some friends do really in a very long term are very much good friends. They will stick to you and correct you path to a better one. But some aren't your friends. And these are the people you should be careful over. Because you never knew what will happen in the future because of them. They can be the kind that i wanted to help you for a better life, but deep down in their heart they was actually hoping to trip you over. This is something i thought i heard from a stranger many years ago, so i'm not sure whether the other person know this person real intention are. 

I'm not sure about you all, but i personally dislike such people in my life. This is because once the wound is inflicted, the wound stays there even after a few decades has pass. As long as one know how to judge a person character correctly and wisdom to discern it, having only good and virtue friends around your life shouldn't be difficult. 

Lantern For Your Candle Dreams

Today as I watch the candle which I lit inside a candle lantern. I came to an understanding of something I had miss out back then at that time of what it mean to a person hope and dream the person has. A lantern that was symbolically as something that protect your inner dream flame or hope so that it can continue lit the light until the entire candle purpose has been used up.

When the first time I lit the candle, I chooses a night spot where it seem to be in a good environment placement and where doesn't look like as it will causes any disaster . However, the timing I lit the lantern wasn't correct, it was pretty soon later that we have to sleep and that either it was someone else will had to blow off my candle light or myself do it. I chooses to end it myself. Here it bring a message of your own dream, that sometimes it can be disturb by wrong timing, other people or you yourself had to terminate your own dream due to circumstances.

And then I attempt again , this time I lit it much earlier. After awhile I came back, I realise the candle light was off . It seem that this time the wind that act as obstacle help turn off my candle light. It is quite unimangineable that wind can reach my candle light even though the wall around is pretty high and the candle was put around nice table at a corner with some pots that helps to shield a bit the wind .

So I guess I do make wrong assumption, that I never thought the wind that are blown in the sky can actually touch the ground of my place even thought with so many plants that help to act as a resistance to the wind.

So this time I decide to change the lantern holder into one that protect from winds. And this time the light of the candle lit very long and still litting as I am writing here.

It was then here after awhile, I realise one thing. I forget to use the correct lantern holder to protect my own inner dream light. Perhaps I am still that naïve as I always had . To me my dream is my own dream, why does somebody else wanted to go destroy my dream when it is not related to them at all? But the stangest thing are there are always different kind of people with different kind of motives (I got a feeling that even at the end of my life, I will still find it difficult to accept such reality about human)such as being forced to, for survival story, greed, ignorance, because you gave the impression that you are looking down on them , because thats what they do and there are people who also admit they hate losing, thats why they act on it and some even giving a totally different stories from their actual intention.

So the stories here is about that I admit my mistake that I had use the wrong candle lantern which causes my own inner hope and dream easily wipe off by either people (external obstacle), myself (inner obstacle)or nature wind (natural circumstance) beside than the timing and where you put it (foundation ) as well as the places had oxygen or Carbon dioksida (purifying question). The purifying is another very important issue which if you are not aware of it you will had a difficult moment of recovering yourself from trauma. While oxygen and ingredient of candle also stand for what nurture your dream to goes on.

Therefore, when you realise what your inner dream really are to you , for some it may mean your business reach another level, for some it maybe getting a position you wanted , for some it maybe mean joining the university you wanted , for some it may mean having a family or seeing your child growing up happily and succesfully. Whatever your dream or inner hope are, do make sure that you use the correct protective tools. It doesn't have to be very complex. As long as it is efffective .

One advise that I always try to remind others is that whatever method you use to protect your dream, do make sure that your method are correct. Even if you manage to get the ending result you hope for, as long as the process of getting the result has err, there will always be some kind of retribution that you have to pay along the way. For some, that one tiny act such as making the wrong turn while driving can causes accidents.

And a final message in this article, if you look carefully, you may found that there's more than one candle light you are having in your life. Remember to make sure each of your candle had right protection and do regular checking from time to time. May your good dream and inner hope will continue lit till its has completed.

What ignorance can do

The danger of living in the state of ignorance is akin to walking toward a tunnel not knowing that at the end of it is a dead end. Although in normal circumstances there are quotes that mention ignorance is bliss . But i found out now that ignorance is never a bliss for me.

 Sometimes when we had encounter some difficult moment and when we look at people who seem to know nothing and still live happily , a thought did arise that "at least they still can smile and live happily , for being ignorance and never knew the truth". But on other occasion i also came out with another conclusion, should one let say out of ignorance, eaten something or did something that causes the person to develop cancer for example. Would it have been better that the person aware about it instead of suffer the pain for years for not knowing ??? Which would you choose were you given the choice?

Ignorance also can happen in our daily life in almost all aspect of oue life. from daily eating habits , to making friends or even for not alert enough in our daily life with our surrounding that can causes danger into our life. 
Let just said that if you had ignorance about food expired date, you may end up seeing doctors for stomachache at the end of the day. But what about if you had mistaken a toxic pills as medicine pill?  

wisdom and fortune

This is some kind of thought that i been thinking for quite a long while . That whether one really should go for wisdom or fortune if one are only able to carry one .  This thought are particularly spur out from a person whom had pass away but may end up born as a pet . Originally this person are a person who had very nice fortune with friends and family from the outside perspective of others, yet because of ignornce this person may have done something wrong and end up born as a pet. Though  this person continue to enjoy the good fortune this person has (loved by the owners and friends) , but does it really worth it continuing its good fortune as a pet ?

On the other hand , if you look at other animals now. A lot of animals suffer from various issue be it in the form of sickness , no home , and worse of all beaten, harass and cruelly treaten by human beings. If you look at this perspective, a pet that is loved and care by the owner are indeed living in a good life of its own. But somehow deep inside me , i felt that maybe wisdom are maybe more useful as there is a saying that if you are not wise, even though you have a lot of gold with you, someone can just come in and walk away with your gold.

Perhaps what i fail to realise for this many years  is that you may lose what you have just in a single second. Thats all it takes to lose what you have own so far if you are not knowledgeable and full of wisdom.  

Between both of these, i love to carry both by all i can.

When more doesn't mean it is better

I really do believe that if i have more money , i will definitely be able to solve out a lot of my life problems that i am currently constantly worrying about. Just as if it is like waiting for the time when the judgement of the execution which is bound to come. Even if money cannot solve everything, it seem like a miracle for me as i bet it will solve 95% of my problems as long as i have abundance money. This is what i really thought about until i heard the story of businessman dead out of robbery reason. And that i may turn out to be more wealthy as i am still alive one more day (thought my worst fear may come true soon .. that i lived a life of poverty and had a very long old age ahead of me to endure).  No worry, not everyone gonna have this kind of situation but probably only me as i had been trying to fix this one problems for a decades and never achieved my goal. But if you don't have a solid finanical planning and constantly save a portion of money, you may even end up much worse than i do.

It was at this time that i realise that perhaps i was in a way much more luckier . Though those business people may own houses, shops, business , cars and so on. everything ends the day they left this life. ( I guess i do have to stated here that i wasn't trying to critisize people that already move on to the next life but this is more about a statement to remind myself that i should at times learn to be grateful with what i still have at this moment ) .

But if in future if i ever still come back to the choice of having more money or having less money , i will still pick having more money . This is because there's a lot of spending i wanted to go for XD

But it is such an unfortunate situation though they had more money than most people (and  thus are able to do more good activity with it)  , they cannot evade such an unfortunate ending that happen to themself.  Therefore, perhaps one should do a regular charity donation for a right cause. It is not because out of fame or trying to get credit or merits, but because of bad things can happen to anyone. And because at your time when you meet big difficulties in your past, what do you feel when someone come to greet you or offer you a helping hand? 

As for me, i will still stick back to the materialistic world where the words "no money no talk " rule. Because i might be ripped off by every single interviewer whenever i go interview for job prospect if i don't do that. (thank goodness not every interviewer i met in the past are like that)
   

The danger of working in competitve environment

Perhaps i wasn't a person who born to love competing aggressively although from young till now i do felt i live in a life that is always forever being compare by. Perhaps that is how my nature of competing in anything unconsciously keep on growing and though i do not really like to live a life of comparing and competing for a lifetime, i was already in it as long as i can remember .

Yet the most dangerous competitive enviornment that can really be harmful is the one i consider as office politics. There will always be people disagree and undermine what i said here. Perhaps many more will choose to disbelief my words. after all my own personal attitude and habits has a lot of big loophole and mistakes that whoever see me will certainly it is my own fault rather than a competitive environment known as office politics.

Why i would said it as dangerous is because that is what it can really develop into. if you are a person who love to see your child grow up happily and smiling. you will have to know that office politics are complete opposite of what you hope to see your child will be. There maybe some who are exceptional in term of their life that they will not encounter such circumstances, or people who actually had the attitude who can preserve on it even if the cloud fall on them or people who are so wise that they can actually avoid the pit hole or understanding enough that they can just accept whatever gonna comes. But not for me.

like any other situation, office politics can revolve around the issue of survival , power, greed , status , wealth , dreams and angers. And because of that it can be very dangerous to the point it can threaten your own life and health . In a simple term, if the person see that the only way for this person to survive is to remove his / her competitor from the chance of getting promoted and the only way to undermine this person is by having his family member get into serious accident. They will most likely do it.  And sometimes this person may not intend of killing his competitor family but error can happen . and thus the mistake once happen cannot be reverse back again.

On other subtle issue, office politics may happen  by intentionally doing emotional attack such as constant throwing pressure into your life or even threaten you.  On other times they may even attempt of hypothesis you by indirectly suggesting some ideas  a little bit by little bit (in the hope that they can make you self remove yourself after a while) or you can found yourself in the story where you become a chess pawn where you deliver a message from an evil person to your friend and you causes your friend death with the wrong info or you may be even frame for something you never did at all. And if you happen to be super unlucky, they may even attempt to black magic you to remove you (not aware that they become a murderer the moment you are death)   

In the story of competitveness such as this, the winner takes all and the loser lose their life. You are consider to be very lucky if you are still alive as some may die not knowing what hits them or the actual truth.  Although both winner and losers end up losing their happy emotion . Losers may left angrily for many years ahead(and possibly died of heart attack) but winner may not be able to smile and laugh like how he/she once had . Both may even end up more twisted in negative emotions than they ever had before. 


On a positive side , not everyone are like that . But if you do meet one , know that these people are not common to be found. Out of few dozens victims that had been sabotag, only 1 or 2 who by heart genuinely do not mind and can accept their enemy for that (and can still work together). I for one are not these type of special people (as i have to worry for the rest of my life whether they are now plotting on someone else or on me not to mention that to be able to truly forgive is an act of divine itself and difficult to walk such road).  The other one type of person are people who has the soul of sportmanship  (you may find 1 out of 10) .

In the end it really depend on who you are and who your opponent are. How you perceive the situation and so on. Not everyone will meet this kind of life (perhaps one of the reasons why many choose to remain small as they had other more valueables things in their life which they are not willing to risk for such as a lifetime peace of mind or too busy to bother about it) . If you really did live a life of peace in working environment undisturb by any circumstances at all, you are actually more wiser than me as  it seem i do not have the wisdom enough to live a life like that yet.

Some company may not like the fact i blog out as they fear that i may reveal something about them . funnily i found this to be quite useful too as it mean i would have save myself from another office politic working environment. As i don't want to risk coming out crazy or die of heart attack again. but life at time can be very unpredictable as who knows if i was once again got thrown into another competitve working environment again so i just cross my fingers in case this happen agains. Another reason is only by blogging out , there are things seem to stop itself after that (so i am presuming that this maybe the only way how i can really end something at times though it may not be a wise action)

If you ever get into a competitive environment make sure you are prepare mentally , physically and emotionally. There's a lot of twist of dangers which you never thought before may suddenly turn dangerous.
As the saying goes, a thief only sees the wallet not the person. Therefore in the turmoil time and unstable economy , the more dangerous a person life can be.

Therefore listening to heart sutra mantra daily (or recite) can help ease your suffering by releasing your attachment to your things. this in turn , you will have peace of mind no matter what circumstances  you are in.

Moon festival

Moon festival is a festival that fall on 15th of 8th month in chinese calendar which is celebrated by family and friends. Although i had no idea how did the moon festival celebration started, but it had a lot of legends behind the story of how moon festivals come about.

Regardless of it, one can always take it as a chance to celebrate with the people you love. Just simply start by buying mooncakes and tell your loved one, " i bought some new foods from the market, do you want to have some?" .  With a variety types of mooncakes available now, I'm sure you can find something up to your taste. And children used to play lantern back in the old day time (you can go for battery lantern if  you are concern with using candle for the lantern).





 

hatred

hatred are really one of the most destroying emotions. i had been through the situation where there is a person had done an injustice thing to me in the past. after 2 years since i left the company, i found my hatred are still there. perhaps this is because this person ask others to make me angry whenever they saw me. for example, they will say something only us will know but to other strangers they think it is just a normal casual talk. but regardless how it turn out, it don't change the fact i hate and angry this person. but perhaps one thing that no one really notice about it is that the hatred do not stop once they stop talking. for me, it multiply with each passing days.

but if by any chance those who know my stories  and also happen to know those people who doing it. you can guess why once i put them in black list, i do not intend to move them to whitelist anymore. I can't really forgive people who pretend that they have repent but when no one looking at them, they will find opportunity to undo me. 

it always puzzle me that this person who done injustice to me can manage to find so many people volunteer to do evil things that hurt and harm others. It even puzzle me that these people who help this people are that easily to be deceive to do things like this. perhaps they had never ever listen  "do not harm others"  things before at all. or perhaps their parents are doing same thing so it is a norm for them too.

unfotunately had to said that this battle of hatred was the most toughest battle i am having now. i don't know if i'll ever win in this life time at all. worst of all, they are people who look for opportunity to make a bigger bomb on top of the existing huge bomb. 

And if there is one thing one should learn is that not because the person is older than you, he/she will be able to distinguish what is virtue or non-virtue. There are still alot of people who think non-virtue as virtue act just because everyone is doing it.

phobia of past

Apparently the feeling of being harrass and attacked wasn't quite coming down yet. just from time to time , i am still getting the feeling of being monitor by the same group of people for what i am going to buy , eat and do. So much for getting involve in a heavily office politics company and i still couldn't shake off the feeling that this group of people are still monitoring my move whenever i step outside of my house. and perhaps spreading some rumors to tick me off as usual???

and it can be getting worse as they are still trying to drop off some rumors (although i can't remember any of it excepts the mothers who i think are using their childrens as a tool for their career). So much for the past where the doting parents will do anything to make sure that their children will grow up in a happy environment. you can't really expect others to spare your children if the you as a parents had actually involve your own children for office politics reason.  It do seem to me that the parents nowadays no longer know what is right and wrong themself and chances are this trend is may be growing in the coming future times. if the parents themself do not know what is right and wrong, chances are their children will grow up making more worse decision than their parent do .   Unlike teachers who may be teaching childrens and become better as the time pass by. A parents may only have one chance which is at as that time only as their kids will continue grows up and there is a saying that says that  "no parents make such big mistakes as when their children dies before them without saying goodbye to them" . There are times when there are things shouldn't be starting at all . for example : letting your child taking drugs / letting them got into the environment that lead them to take drugs eventually. because your kids may no longer be alive because of that 1 small mistake.  

phobia of bracelet being stolen

This is one of my latest phobia that i have recently developed due to an incident that happen long time ago. In my past, i had a book of mantra which i got it for free out of the merits of having connections with the buddhas. but one day, it went missing and just barely few weeks before that i do heard about rumors that someone attempt to steal my books and i thought what a nonsense. why do others wanna steal my book, some more it is free ??

Eventually the book did went missing. and i went through a lot of difficultty from times to times . and a weird thought that came to me, that they went photocopy it and distribute it among themselves. but i never got my book back again ever since the day it is lost.

after i quitted that company, it seem that i eventually manage to get another book that had the similar contents. but it is also about the time i had discover that all these years, they had been non-stop harrasing me. They do all sort of insignificant things that distress me and no one else really know about it. beside me and them. They talks about things that only those staff that work in that companies knows about (its suppose to be work related and we are not suppose to leak it out for others are not working there ). for an example, a small talk between you and another colleague whom only 2 of us suppose to know . or they can purposely said  "z" or "j" , she manage to do it. some name are common so it is not unusual to have such name pop up. but there are people whose name are so unique, you will not hear another one have that name for the next decade. and i alone have to bear their harrasments all the time  even until yesterday shopping. and thus it is like they are provoking me to spill out my past companies work . *thank god i wasn't holding something like bank account password otherwise those people will do even more cruel way for the sake of robbing other people money * what i been through is nothing more than office politics which those people are trying to monopoly that company . and also since then, from time to time, i heard kinda some people whose trying to take a look of what kind of item i am interested to buy so they can buy all and won't let me buy it. There are quite a few threatening stories they did threaten others which i believe not many people know about.

This time , i heard some kind of rumor that someone may try to steal my bracelet. i got a few bracelets but there is one i particularly minded if it is got stolen. This one is actually a sandalwood bracelet which i use to recite buddha mantra. and if it was stolen, it is not easy for me to get a new one unlike others.

*and there are rumors about people enter my house and change the inside contents of my bought prayer wheels with paper. this is something i cannot verify as i had not much indepth knowledge with the prayer wheel. but i eventually learn to make a few of my own prayer wheel version. yet it is not as convenient as those available in market as it is both mini and a lot more mantra can contain inside*

*practically saying i was still harrass by same gang of people everyday for the fifth year (for me all was started since the day someone is making a move to remove my team leader when i newly join in that time. and the management unable to really solve out this problem at all even until now as i write it). and there is a big possibilities that i will be continue harrass by them for the rest of my life. and this person i heard are still climbing the ladder in that company. *  

*and they will never be able to change the fact of the bad thing they had done to me. regardless how they try to cover the truth with something else. * and sometimes i am completely clueless when it comes to solving my own problem. This is one of the reasons that is blocking me to earn my wealth and having a peaceful life.to think that i may not get my peaceful life in future because of people who cannot distinguish between what is right and wrong, what is virtue and what is non-virtue action instead of natural calamities... but i had just merely decided that even if i make mistakes that will cost my life , i will not live a life under people like that for i had been through that last time.

*and if there are one thing one should know, that is one should be extremely beware of joining which company and the people in there. while most companies are perfectly normal and the worst consequences is either you resign or fired. there are some exceptions like the one i mention above. they intend to bring you down till the day you leave this world and still trying to let the world know that you are the bad guys here. but you know they did many things behind it. knowing such rotten people at times can ruin your life permanently (as how they have did it to mine).

never be the one that ask to give me

today i read a newspaper news , in fact it was a sad news article . yet i came to ponder a few things about it. And i really found that any incident that occur, one can analysis it at a many different angles. There are many places that one can look at the weakness and improve on it. In fact, you may learn that it is there are so many things that you need to do than your two hand and 1 brain can handle at any time. I guess this is what human always face. Many problems from different angle can crop up in your life if you are not careful. all can happen in the same one second.  Just as much as i can write about almost anything with one sentence as an opening (well.. i usually face mental block whenever comes to writing but today it seem so naturally).

The news story in fact had remind me one old story. There was a farmer who happen to saw a lion that is injure and couldn't move. Another tiger came and bring it food. And thus the farmer think that it is very good that there is some kind of help coming from the heaven. and thus the farmer sit down and do nothing, waiting for heaven favour .  The farmer grew weak as day pass and one day a monk happen to pass by. the monk ask what happen, the farmer told the monk the story. The monk say " you should learn to be the tiger not the lion" .

and i guess i learn one thing . that is one should learn how to be the one that gives instead to be the one that ask people to give. getting/hinting someone to give something away when they are not doing it out of their own willingness is probably same as taking away something from someone before the time has come. that is selfishness motives on the one who ask for it.

while i would have been more like the farmer. but there are lessons that each of us had to learn. There are times there are mistakes we done is only a very minor mistake and thus the error is small, but for the rest of us. some small mistake will cost us our entire life .  I guess i have to start be the tiger instead of the farmer.

list of phobias

If you look into the list of phobias you will find that there are pretty much of phobia a human can have , and surprisingly it is growing in number as well it seem.  Some phobia pretty much are like the fear of public speaking (which i admit i myself pretty much sometimes do experience it as if i'm a beginner although i been in the situation before). Other phobias can be very pretty specific such as fear of driving , panic disorder, fear of flying , performance fear and so on. One of the most interesting coincidence is that when i come across this phobia topics, the very same day i receive some prank call which most likely their main aim are to strike fear (apparently my living place or i should say my country people virtue had degenerate to a very low level that it seem to be a common thing that they are trying to use fear to control and threaten everyone. but i bet they had never try before of they personally feeling fear coming from my anger - just to let them know that if anyone get angry, they can be so real angry that you cannot bear of the consequences).  but their attempt always kinda remind us that they are lacking a balance in their life. thats why they seek to control others .

some of my phobia are pretty much manmade (make by people like them. this issue pretty much started from one of my ex-companies and since then, they never stop harass and disturb me even though 2 years had pass since i left that company. all my other ex-companies never did that except those that are link with this company people) while other was something i kinda having it since childhood and never know the term phobia back then. but now i know that i had some phobia since young which needed to take care of and will definitely find time to slot in and deal with it. and the final conclusion is that i too do believe most phobia can be cure as long as we had the understanding what causes it in the first place.


hopefully within this week, i had more time to read more details about phobia and maybe i'll be able to find something interesting to write at a much later time as some phobia topics maybe really intriguing such as phobia of hell and i had exactly some buddha mantras such as "Om Mani Padme Hum" that helps with such phobia  :)

not preparing enough

another thing is incoming into life and i didn't even have times to prepare everything for it because some past problems that keep on cropping up and eaten me for few years. i really had no idea if i can really can take care my entire family well being judging from this. it is true that life circumstances doesn't wait for anyone. and how much one can prepare for this?

although i try my best at one point of time to keep going and pushing like a nuts , eventually i fell down and hurt myself badly. not only i accomplish little, i got emotionally drain, wounded and now are under recovery section (it is already 2 years in recovering mode and it may take few years more to completely recover).

So i suppose there is one reason why one should prepare as early as possible. sometimes preparing too early can make your entire result goes wrong. people can take every single of your piece of work and submitted under their name . or what you done is entirely wrong. or by the time had reach, that is no longer the right version of your work. you wasted a lot of your time for doing something too early which in the end turn nothing at all.

Then i was being introduce to the concept of waiting and let it spring as it comne. I love it and enjoy it. because i do not have to wake up early. i don't have to prepare 3 hours early before a class start. and the teacher was really regret for introducing this concept because i started to late for her class  and it continue for many many years after that. sometimes i decide to prepare early, other times i prepare late.

But now i got hit back by this same thing. apparently i needed to prepare early because by the time i finish prepare , it is just enough right at the moment. and here i am griefing too . because in tackling someone else problems , mine own problems had become huge like mountains neglected on one side. while the other people says hurraaayyy.. my problem is solve. Mine own one started as crisis and need immediate attention all the time . if i fail to remedy it, someone may die that very second. Sometimes i felt i was punish for helping others. they thought i am a problem solver so they kinda throw every single problem of theirs to me, forcing theirs first to be solve. but who gonna solve mine if my beloved one dies while solving theirs work problem because of their selfishness?? I am tired to have to handle everything under urgent level while they can just play their game and continue politiking tomorrow. i guess i am expecially hating those who are pay to do and solve their  work and they make me go through hell to solve their work which they are paid to do it .

oh well, a problem crop up in my life and i still haven't make enough income to buy a car. and had no idea how to handle the future incoming medical expenses beside than the living expenses (my very own living expenses only). i guess that is why i too want to choose to too much money problems instead of no money problems as some of my problems can only be solve by lots of money while the other half, no amount of money can solve it .       

To be able to live doing what you love to do

To be able to live doing what you love to do and live a good life is probably takes a lot of merits and blessings to be reaching there. unfortunately for me, my life never been the same again as how i used to be. It wasn't very good back then, but it certainly had become more worst now. But on the other hand, i am still alive now (at one point of time i was going through a phase which i call it near dying phase ) .

So, i guess i had to be very appreciative to buddha for the reason i am still alive now. The buddha religion and their mantra are one of the big reason why i am still alive now. like a sheep, i am lost .without buddha religion, i probably are dead.  i keep on questioning myself what i am suppose to do from now on . and its been 2 years since i'm like that. apparently my spring are starting to get rusty and old it seem. There are people who actually give me some temporary goals too but unfortunately i do not really click with their suggestions otherwise i am working hard on it now. Strangely, i still love writing so much that even when i do about complaining about life, half of the time i will still prefer writing it out (*except when i seriously need to declare it to the sky). I guess i couldn't stop writing be it for good reason or bad purpose :S And it seem like blogging now seem to become my online diary . Oh gosh, i don't intend to blog out my life that very much but the idea that i once thought nice to write , seem to be going out of my memory the instant i thought about it =X

Perhaps the best antidote to my present situation is to do something i really like (regardless how small it is). this theory is something i haven't really confirm how important it will be in the coming times. 

so thats all for today as my practise writing section. Have a good time ;)

when life are fragile

Sometimes life are very fragile even among us the human being. you can had a very peaceful life in the past but when six major disaster happen at one time, it can shock you to the kneel. I was lucky when this happen as most of it are minor things to other people. one of the major thing that was happening during that time is one my house lamp broken to pieces and i wasn't even aware of it until i step on it. Thank god i was wearing shoes otherwise my leg will be bandaging now =X . The others are slightly more personal and thus can't be reveal much here. * i still believe i got many stalkers out there looking forward to dig more harm to me. but no, i'm not celebrity so its not something reporter are interested in * So it can be say that the only expenses so far that had incur is to replace the mentol bulb. and i was about to have a new phobia call lamp phobia beside the newest one is insects phobia.


- end of topic .. reason: mental block ;)

writer virtue

i think its true that being a writer has its own virtue and merit. to start with, being a writer require a lot of reading and writing. (too bad in my case, i never know how to even start make a living as a writer ) and thus have not able to fulfill this dream come true after a decade. Yet on the same time, i always enjoy reading and write occasionally and found that there are many good merits can come from writing what one read. Have to really thanks those great persons who manage to make internet available worldwide. Otherwise , there are a big possibilities that i would not be alive today.  (Probably dead from unable to read something new and widely available for the mind @.@  )

The biggest merits of being writer are probably able to share what you know to others . but there are others side advantages as well. first of all, your writing will gradually become better as times goes by . Secondly, you may read something that really change your life path for the rest of your life (for the better) . But don't get me wrong, all the legal jobs and works are excellent in its own way. At the every least, everyone learn different things that suit to their spiritual and material growth .  But for me, writing may become the most important thing in my life in the coming days.

Today i am ending my article here. As i do not want to misguided to those who happen to come across this post . If you are interested to become a writer,  i would suggest you to read from other experience professional writer. They can give you tips and guides that may open your door into writing world. Wish you all the best in becoming a full-time writer  :)

This post is actually my practise writing post ;)

Little butterfly wings

Here i am remembering a very old article which once i read. It is said that there is a person that was wondering how does a butterfly that flap its wing going to have impact in this earth. He put the data into a software and the result turn out are nothing much but a tornado can occur at the other side of the world. This is the influence of a  butterfly can do . And this story are now reoccuring in my mind as if reminding me that every action done (regardless how insignificant it can be) , good or bad can in fact can become a very turning point of something big. Of course no one knows how it will turn out at the end. It is like an orchestra group, where each of one of us take a role to perform the music. Sometimes , there are missing members , but we must still continue. Sometimes some are playing out of sync, but the music goes on. Sometimes another person sick, we are taking their role . Sometimes someone came and replace us instead.  Sometimes we are taken out of our place by force, leaving us bewildering what are we going to do from now on?? Yet here i am reminding myself this can be a blessing in disguise.

I guess one should be aware that what one does can make a big difference at times. So lets just concentrate on going for doing more good things in life. ;)


 

untimely death

Sometimes at one point of your life, you are walking in your house. Your ceiling lamp which seem to be good and well all the time suddenly fall down and hit directly on you. You pass out and pass away just like that on that spot. This is it, out of nowhere you are suddenly death when you are thinking of taking another cup of water to drink.  The truth is.. nope. The lamp didn't fall on me yet . I am merely taking a look on my ceiling lamp and realise that it is very true that death can happen anytime. To me, that looks like an untimely death . As if i was there and the ceiling lamp happen to fall, i would have gone from this world and move on to my next life right from my home.

Perhaps the glimpse of the lamp are teaching which i consider lucky if it is just remain a teaching. It may have teach that even the safest place to your security identity (the one who define who yourself are, your name, your background and so on) can suddenly become unexpected. What you have been so familiar with all these years can suddenly change and gone in a second.

The lamp in fact had make me feel more appreciate of the buddha mantra in my life. Perhaps it is because of the blessings of mantra that something like that have been averted. That something bad which are not suppose to happen in the first place was averted from happening? 

Now you see, Now you don't...

There was upon a time when the Oreo biscuit did an advertisement that says that you saw the Oreo now and then the next second the biscuit was gone. Something similar happen in my life recently too with the exception that it is on the reverse sequence.

I went to work with a pc. My files which i left in my desktop , a shortcut to a mozilla firefox was missing while i am working. Yet when after lunch time, i operated the pc again . Within the 10 minutes , the missing shortcut mysteriously appear again in the pc , as if "it comes out from nowhere by itself" . Although it is too bad that i wasn't an expect in the pc itself, otherwise i'll hunt and track down every single software in the pc and file to find the source of the problem. In a logical term of thinking, a file couldn't went dissappear and appear itself unless someone or a virus temper the pc . Yet, since i'm a believer in spiritual aspect, I would consider that as a karma going on. However, the logical seem to be having a winning arguments about this. Because my pc is connected to internet.

Natural antioxidants drinks

On the day when i took my first drink of natural antioxidants drinks, i thought that my heart emotional problem due to previous work environment arise again. The feeling of that something is pressuring your heart and pain , compressing your heart into a tiny box or something like that. It was quite later that i realise that it may be come from the drinks i just brought. A natural antioxidants drinks.

So i decide to dig a bit to understand what does antioxidants means and thats what it said from wikipedia "An antioxidant is a molecule capable of inhibiting the oxidation of other molecules" . So i decide to browse a bit more about the information and found that it is said that antioxidant is good for health especially with situation that related to hypertension and heart . It is widely available from fruits and vegetables . yet, some also caution that taking too much can lead to bad consequences. "

Regardless of it, i do feel some strange heart pumping after drinking it. So i do believe that it may have what it claim to be. Perhaps in the future, i will consider taking some time to write a more full detail of this subject (since it may be a good topic that is beneficial for heart stress >.>)

Miracles do happen

Sometimes in the midst of lifes, despite all that had happen and some unexpected bad thing that are happening in life, Miracles do happen. In my case, i saw some miracles that otherwise would not even possible to happen many years ago. Perhaps while it do mean that my life had not improve much as i thought it would be, yet it do certain that some of my actions in fact are correct (to the point of able to see miracles).

Perhaps it brings the meaning that some of my struggling are worth fighting for. As it means that it is a better place for me and others that are affected. It was true that there are people in this world that taken your action for granted, that in the end it is much better that you end it permanently. At the some time, there are others who worth giving all your best effort for. Perhaps the biggest lesson here wasn't who to give and who not to give, whether give more or give less , but a lesson of knowing when to give and when to stop.

Sometimes there are people who are faster than us, that when the times come they had to leave because their times had come. Other times, it could be us that move faster , that we have to leave because it does no good to anyone involve. But it is certainly hard to know when and how we should approach as sometimes there are no right answer and sometimes there have right answer.

Mental blocks

I admit it.. i really admit it. I admit that i reach mental blocks again after just publishing a few articles. Yet the heart feel like wanna keep typing the keyboard like how i once liked it. Perhaps i have once again found something meaningful in my life again. Perhaps i have once again found the right channel to pour my heart content out as i love too.Perhaps i am one bird who wish to chipping now regardless there are listener or just the forest.

And i feel so alive writing it now (regardless what had happen in the morning).

Perhaps the biggest quest in a human life in this present is to find how to be themself full of abundance and happily. And i suppose it is not an easy journey. If there is another secret that i found out about humanity in this few years, that will be living a life thinking that is your dream life but the actual truth is you didn't even realise you never really like it. And that can be a real challenge in this life.

I couldn't said that my life are super good. I even hadn't reach the 1 million goal that i set up long time ago. Somehow i am just a bit more alive , more free and more smile. (anger is the only thing don't change much but it seem my days are gonna get better) . Its been a year or two since i had my real last laugh (a smile that sprang from the bottom of my heart). And so i think i am on my right path once again. A path of life and happiness (and only god will knows if i had make the right choice till the end of my life).

the bodhi way

The last time when i thought the hardest transformation in my life are when changing from a player who love to play a warrior job in mmorpg into a full time healer character. It took me many months before i can really start to like and play a healer , with the starting as "this team member of mine is a mob that i must hit until the red bar full..." The torture of transforming was one great and lengthy effort. However, once i become a healer, it really worth the efforts. I thought this could be the hardest one i'll go through , or so i thought until...

I come across the buddha religion precepts. The buddha precepts is actually had a simple few rules of conduct that is for the beneficial of the sentient being that practise it ( yet at the same time it had many rules that one should observe properly ) . for example, one should be a vegetarian and avoid eating meat. I had been for a few times ate some dishes thinking it is vegetarian only to found out it has meat. The other rule that stated avoid harming others can be equally difficult to follow especially if one had been poked by others for continuous five years...
Yet i can be pretty amaze at times thinking the God emperor are said to face each challenges of his for few hundred thousand years (and each of his challenge are said to be the same hundreds years length time). As for me, it do seem that unless i learn the lesson well and reach the next level of thinking , whatever troubling me will probably repeat as long as it want. (dreading to think that i will have to rerepeat again in my next life~~~)

I too myself had no idea how long i can stays eating vegetarian. There are all sorts of comments coming from staying a vegetarian . (even the fact that one will become not healthy and have malnuttrients stories). It is said that drinking milk a lot only can cause one die faster (or so i heard). At the very least dieing due to drinking milk too much may be very good for me compare dieing in a not happy working environment (caused by others that playing office politics). At the very least it is far better to die because of my own negligience/ignorance than it was coming from others).

Merit amount to overcome karma

Recently i had a most serial pc problem that occur all in 1 time. My keyboard not functioning , my mouse not working and the best of all , the windows keep auto restarting itself. Although it was later that my mouse and keyboard seem to be ok , the windows did not back to itself.

It was during this time that i make a presumption of the amount of merits to overcome a karma. If let's say, that the pc had malfunction as part of a karma ripening. Then how would one respond to their work if they had an option. So i calculated that perhaps one will need to bring his notebook to work. And to have a notebook means one will need enough merits known as money in order to buy it. I went on further to calculate how many commission i would roughly need to buy a normal notebook to use. I estimated it needed around 40 times of my commission to buy a notebook which would overcome this one particularly karma at this moment.

So a rough calculations shows that in order to overcome 1negative karma with merits, one would need at least 40 merits that had successfully ripen (this do not include your attempts of doing good merits ). So it eventually struck me that the millionaire we known could be holding 40 millionaire dollar (if they did not use it to overcome karma). It may mean that a millionaire (who just had one million dollar only )we know now may actually had planted and harvesting 40 millions successfully good merit.

So i concluded that it is possible that your 1 past negative karma did in the past will actually spoil a lot of your good merit attempts. Secondly, i still believe that those who do bad things and good things together will always meet with tough time due to the fact most of their good merits are exhausted to overcome their negative karma. Thirdly, the reason calling Bodhisattva name even one time can clear a negative karma is due to their accumulated merits are so much that they said even the entire earth good fortune are accumulated together, it is just only a single hair of the bodhisattva good fortune. And thank the buddha , bodhissattva , god and angel for their presence in this earth, otherwise i believe this earth are going to be a very cruel place to live in. (Perhaps all human had extinct by this time?)

Regardless, the theory above are based on the tangible result that can be seen and estimated. Even though i thought my job are gonna gone again (by feb or march) due to the pc this time. I am glad the fact that I felt i am coming back to who i really was. (*there is still plenty of swearing that i wish some people just be gone from my life. This same article may one day again remind me that wishing something bad to others or i am mad enough to revenge , that i may needed 40 times of the same type successfully harvest and accumulated merits to overcome 1 negative karma as a result (but sometimes once action is done, no matter how one wants to repent, it can never be change again). That was a lot of hard work effort to be spoil by a stupid action in the end. Hopefully, i will never fall to that level and that what i found here will keep me strong regardless what happen in future.

Wish i would have learn this clearly much earlier in my life. It would have save me a lot of time and my courses of actions would have change completely . But i guess this is another set of merits and karma the fact that i finally learn it at this time.

*you need a mountain of good merits to overcome 1 negative karma. So stop digging and making a bigger hole of your negative karma. It is better to have a good road than making lots of holes(negative journey) on your journey . You may need the good merits to build a better road ahead of your life or to use it to build your own "home sweet home" :)

* Do not take blindly all the comments and advise in this keyhole category. Be discriminate to see if it is true for you . This is just another mile in my life that i finally reach after a long long time.

Picking your umbrella

Picking your umbrella is more about the choices you made when you are at a crossroad. While my wisdom and experience nor intelligence is great as anyone (successful person) else in this earth , i do have my own fair share of pick up my own umbrella. And yes, i do make very bad choices of pick up the bad umbrella at times (which is why i am learning now to be even more carefully pick up the right umbrella).

While there was a person once stated that i am picky (and funnily no matter how many years it had been the person words still rings in my ear at times). Perhaps it wasn't what the person said that really matter but i probably hold a regret for not being picky at a times when i should be. (Maybe it is because i am the type who goes regret most if it is a choice that is not made by me but merely impose by others).

Picking your umbrella is a very important action as each day a person is given the choice to decide what to do, how to respond. For an example, you can be dealing with customer in an angry way or in a polite way. You may also be picking your umbrella who are going to be your trustee manager between one that is capable and the other one who is faking all the way to con you. Similarly choosing a college and your specialty subject may change the environment and who you will meet with.

Picking your umbrella may also at times can be limited due to various reason. For an example, a 7 years old may find it difficult to hold an adult umbrella all the way. On the other hand , you may have to decide whether to use an umbrella that can shield 2 person or bring 2 sets of umbrella with you. At the end of the time, do know the main purpose of your umbrella. Was it for protection, was it to shelter from rain or was it for protretion from sunlight. while most umbrella can multipurpose , but you may end up picking the one that can't :) The worst of not preparing for emergency such as umbrella is that you may fall sick running over the rain.

*had you pick your umbrella today?

Generosity is a noble virtue

When one talk about generosity, one may think of a very well known person who did charity regularly. In the actual term, generosity do not only refer to the kindness done to the charity . One can start their generosity just right from home, from one self.

One can start with a simple kind of act such as asking "how are you?" , perhaps the foundation of generosity start by giving things or a simple thought of another person well being. yet the actual generosity will constantly be challenge when one are doing generosity toward others. It is much easier that one are always generous with oneself with lavish gift, pampering oneself and then toward one own family member. However , when it comes to someone outside , you may actually question yourself why generous toward others whom you do not know. Perhaps the answer lies in one simple statement, do you goes to watch movie at cinema alone or with friend? which is better?

Yet in such modern living time, it is indeed that there are people who take things for granted. There are even people who abuse it. Yet at the same time there are people who actually screaming for help perhaps every second if you are given the ability to hear their scream. So i would advise that doing generous with your wisdom , seeing who needs more. Sometimes stop giving can be an act of kindness too. Other times, it was a small smile that saves the day . And whenever you do , do remember to balance self love, family love and others in a good portion. If you are expecting some kind of benefits in return, perhaps that isn't the real generosity. Still, doing it is better than not doing it. Who knows that one day you will just enjoy the sake of giving something. It's a small act that benefit both giver and receiver greatly (provided you are doing it correctly).

anonyance to the high limit

If there one thing one should be aware in the working world, it would be your emotion must be firmly keep in check. However it is easier said than done. How does one are expect to maintain a rationale , balance way with others in a new environment when one had been continously undergoes situation where one is constantly being attack by others for few years?

Perhaps they are trying to catch me on something which they think that once i been push to the limit, i would commit an offence out of anger. Seriously, pushing someone to the limit only to catch the person for something sound more like setting up a trap for the purpose of framing someone. There are times i do hope that they too had been push to the limits and see whether they do commit something bad out of anger. But this is very much like a person commit suicide after they are dump by their lover.

Blogging in such way is actually can be a very negative situation for me. First of all, i believe in karma. Writing a lot negatives tought will inevitable generate negative result. However, i have try quite a few approach in the past that did not work out. Confronting the person, the person deny it. report to the management, the management dismiss it , ignoring it and end up letting them repeatedly do it even more. Taking a blade and i might charge with attempt murder . Attacking them back (eye for an eye) and karma is the result .

Seriously i had no idea how to handle this. Just quite a few month ago, in a past company. There is one girl who constantly kicking her shoes to my table. Perhaps its true that there a person once said that i always look and had a kind of aura that make others like to attack me out of fun. Probably because i had it since i was a child. I kinda grow up in a bullying environment during my school time. So such victim feeling that was once in my childhood time may have been carry forward . However, i couldn't really dismiss this was a continuous office politics that was done by my one of my ex company staff. Apparently it is because that i had once caught this person with evidence and so now others are trying to cover this person by making my reputation bad . So that others may one day thinks that my evidence is folly and end up falling into this staff trap again. Anyway, my reputation wasn't something that great to start with as i have been fired by my past companies before i even met this person.

I just figure that if something real bad happen to me coz of them. Perhaps this can be the final message that i'll left. All i know is there are a lot of stories about me which i probably don't even know about it. But i do know that if i dislike something , i really dislike it. i don't see any much possibilites anyone can change my view unless it is my corpse that they are hoping to see.

I do wonder if they too are everyday all the time being push over the limit, do they really can be rationale and calm all the time? It is certainly difficult for me as i still have emotions .

though i do not really intend to blog it out and publish things that written such negative, nevertheless i still decide on trying such approach to see if things will change for the better or worse. Who knows that after pouring out my heart content out that suddenly one finds that such matter do not repeat again for decades. Or perhaps i may suddenly get enlighten and thus the lesson for it is completed. Perhaps it may go worse where lawsuit may appear or some future companies decide not to hired me after this (but i do consider cos some of them are wicked and having people who loves to write with the potentiality of ending up critisize through blogging can prove fatal to them).

Since i had no idea yet on how to end such annoyance pattern. I guess this is my next approach to see what will happen after this (whether it become positive , negative ,just the same or nothing happens) . Beside than having little thing that triggers me so much that i might swear i gonna crush all those that hurt me (probably i had swear up to 300 times by now and they are still kicking alive..) , i am basically living in a more lighter life. for me, It wasn't as bad as how others claiming it looks like (apparently they are trying to control the entire state from behind through fear and blackmail) But this also prove that tyranny does not need to begin with someone on top of the government . It simply begin from the human dark heart.

Keyhole

Keyhole...it is a name which i suddenly came up with wheni thought of making a corner where i can do real practise writing in the big big domain world call internet and blogger. Perhaps to be more accurate , it mean that how i am currently viewing the world, searching for the right key hole and keys that open it. But to be more definite, this is my first real practise writing article, to write just about anything that pop up from my head (and yes, i do have a more formal content blog for more specific serious content).

and hopefully, that i do will post a lot topics in the future here for the sake of practising writing :)

Additional note: Whoever misuse the information here with the intention of harming others is/are to be fully held responsible for all the consequences and results coming from their evil action.

Naive story - not harming

Once upon a time, Naive was having her meal in a restaurant. It was in the restaurant that Naive heard a conversation that there is a group of people striking a conversation. In this conversation, Naive heard the following . The very group of people is attempting to do a verbal assault on a girl because of their friend who Naive name the person "Childish" had a hard time convincing Childish company colleague that she is right. And so Childish come out with a plan that attack the girl and make the fact that looks like as if Childish is right and stating the fact that this was not intend to harm or hurt the girl. However from naive opinion view, "In what way does it call not harming or hurting the girl? " If naive was the girl stated, Naive do assume that is call verbal attack with the intention of gaining personal benefit by undermining other people.

Naive even know some portion of the stories of what Childish did in the company before Naive even join it.

If there is a reason how did Naive and Childish got involve together before despite the contrast and different value , Naive think that it could be because both Naive and Childish are fool. After all that there is a saying that "birds of a feather tend to flock together".

Regardless of all, the ghost of the past seem to be still haunting Naive for quite a while. Regardless how it is, Naive are pretty sure all that are involve now had never got past the very same ghost as well. Naive consider it as "The cycle of Samsara" .

------------------------------------------
The purpose of this story are meant for releasing blockage in Naive and do not serve any other purpose. Readers are advise to make own evaluation and judgement.

Money is positive energy?

Some incident that been happening in my life have started to make me think that perhaps money the one where one always trying to gain more in their life, to better their life circumstances for the present or the future are perhaps nothing more than a type of positive energy in a person life. And thus when one are open for more positive energy into their life, perhaps they receive more???

I do know the theory of "you reap what you sow" and thus had been trying not to sow what is bad as giving something bad to anyone actually mean getting bad thing as well in the coming future. and for this reason, i been reminding myself not to create karma. and funny thing is though others know about karma, they had no idea that how serious the karma consequences they can get as a result of giving something evil to others.

The point is, it is easier for one to gain more when one is in positive level, giving others positive energy or doing positive deeds .

Plant more seeds of what you want in so that you may receive even more of what you want ~

fruit picture feng shui

fruit picture feng shui may be a very powerful feng shui tools that one would want to display. Displaying a picture of fruits symbolise one own action will be peoperly ripen. It is so powerful that one action be it good or bad, are most certainly will ripen , that even a misconduct (a prank) done by one few years ago , are gonna be ripen .

Therefore if one had always sow the seeds of action yet did not get the intended result, displaying a bunch of fruits can help one to get enjoy the harvest of one own action . However, i do recommend that there must be an apple picture in it as it symbolise peace and harmony and may even helps to neutrealize negative environment. watermelon on the other hand, gives one a very good feeling as if it is more about the soul.

* do note that the fruits picture are powerful to the point that if one have commit evil deeds , one own harvest are had already store in the person itself . displaying the picture merely ripen the person harvest which it will still happen in the future simply because of the person had sow the seed . I usually do attach it with a tibet mantra which help to lessening everyone karma around it. (so that life threatening situation can be minimise and enjoy a great deal from one own harvest ).

* it is said that one person karma can be carry forward to many future lifetimes until it is ripen. If you know the boiling water is hot and putting your hand onto it will burn your hand , will you still put your hand onto it and enjoy the pain afterward? Therefore, its best to plant plenty of good merits so most of them will ripen in the near future and others may continue ripen for your far future lifetimes ;)

Shoot for the moon! If you miss you will still be amongst the stars.

Shoot for the moon! if you miss you will still be amongst the stars.

I used to think that it represent the idea of one when they aim to do their best , even if they did not make it, they still get something ok from their own action. and there are times when ppl will think that how come when shooting for moon, one will land amongst the stars... (this is especially regarding the gravity and the distance of planet of the moon which are more closer to the earth than a stars). However, this sentence in fact can be true as it mentions and i landed on a star (which the star is bigger and longer distance than the moon) .

Therefore i came to understand that it can actually means that even when you are aiming on a moon and you miss it, you may actually end up getting better things with the fact that there are actually plenty of stars (opportunities) , opportunities that are open to you for trying to aim reaching the moon.

However, do remember not to use fuel that actually can pollute the earth since you are still living on the earth and will be back for a home visits ; )

14 feb 2011 Diary

Learning from reading was one of my favourite thing i would love to do. i can spend hours and months reading and digging on a single subject that i am interested in until not a single words are left uncover by me. and thus one maybe surprise thinking how come a particular topic is getting popular when the fact are probably because i had been typing the same keyword everyday in my quest of searching for answer. But when it comes to life lesson, this is not something one can really gooogle about it =S

In fact, it is said that when it comes to life lessons, one are actually continuously repeatingly taking it until one day the person are graduated from it. It certainly happens to me too which unfortunately that my life lessons seems to take years before i really do learn and understand it. In which that i had again found out that, even when one had purposely build a and take great care in making sure the foundation of peace and happiness prevail, sadness do indeed still will happen. Perhaps all the undertaking of such journey and effort is nothing but to build a heaven where the enlightment lasts.

For this, i would probably have to thanks the lapis stone which i got recently. It do seems that without it, i may be even taking 7 years or more before i really passed this life lesson which been repeated quite a few times since the last 2 years. Perhaps i too had been very stubborn, insisted on doing it my way (which in fact is quite effectively working) but a turn of life of fate of others (a stranger) may have shows that the peace and happiness i am searching for actually lies in the path of spiritual enlightment?

Regardless, it won't change the fact that i am still a thousand miles away from my learning. Although the good things is i do infact know a way of learning life lessons is through religion or having interaction with community. As the saying goes "learning continues on even after you had left schools". i sure hope that whatever life lessons that i been going through since the past 2 years , i will be finally be able to complete them in the next few months and move forward again.

For us, life is more than this lifetime and perhaps pretty soon, i will be back into my quest of how to making a lot money as much as one wants as this is the only one so far i had not yet completely learn it. Perhaps the entire world will have lessen the misery by 30% or more when everyone learn the tricks of manifesting wealth through the right way.

richdad cashflow board 101

I had been saving for months for buying a cashflow board game which is introduce in richdad book by robert kiyosaki. By the time i almost save enough, i decided to check for the game first and found out the egames had been taken away from their product list. It was funny to see how come the physical board game is still available but not the e-cashflow. THen i saw it on one of the banner in the web, cashflow online.

I am indeed excited with seeing that the game is available online (the fact that i saved some money and really able to get connected and play with others ) and so i decided to join and play.

After the first few rounds playing cashflow, i realise that it had thought me what i thought as passive income wasn't really passive income at all. Sure it looks passive enough but it wasn't consider as one of the type of passive income i thought it was. It is more sort of capital gain than passive income.

Regardless, i started to understand where i had misunderstood the concept and how cashflow help me to realise. I learn about the bad debt (the game kick me out of the board for having negative cashflow), it is a hard way to learn for me since i was kicked out twice :). For the third time, i carefully study it and found out where it went wrong. Apparently, i have leftout the bank payment for borrowing money to but the property. Therefore the cashflow is negative.

And then at certain round, i start to learn to decline some offer even when it is a good deal. It was a good deal but because of insufficient fund i had, it become bad deal due to bad debt. And i also learn that sometimes having a lot small deals is appropriate than going for big deals when you are not ready. And i learn that this game is more about making the right choices on your financial more than anything else. With financial intelligence, one can make good choice .

whether one wants to achieve financial freedom or simply get out of debt, one should really play this and learn. It will bring you to your wildest dream come true.

i starting to believe dharma and dharma reward

It's been quite sometimes since an event in my life that rigger my understanding that what i learned about dharma . I thought i knew what is dharma, only to find out that it has much more deeper meaning than one know.

Dharma simply means "protection" is actually a double edge sword. When one doing the right way, one will be protect and support by dharma. In fact one will be reward handsomely by dharma. ON the other hand, when one does the other way, one will lose it. Much like "tao".

And this is what i learned,

A year ago , i know someone who was very committed and work very hards. He resigns and went to work in another company. Due to his hardworking nature, he was promoted a few times just in 1 year time. According to my estimation, he was actually promoted about 4 times in 1 year.

This in fact is much faster than those who decide to use the side way path which on average 1 year = 1 promotion.

So i started to believe that if one do according to dharma and give out a more, one will be reward and given the best one is regardless of what circumstances it is.