anonyance to the high limit

If there one thing one should be aware in the working world, it would be your emotion must be firmly keep in check. However it is easier said than done. How does one are expect to maintain a rationale , balance way with others in a new environment when one had been continously undergoes situation where one is constantly being attack by others for few years?

Perhaps they are trying to catch me on something which they think that once i been push to the limit, i would commit an offence out of anger. Seriously, pushing someone to the limit only to catch the person for something sound more like setting up a trap for the purpose of framing someone. There are times i do hope that they too had been push to the limits and see whether they do commit something bad out of anger. But this is very much like a person commit suicide after they are dump by their lover.

Blogging in such way is actually can be a very negative situation for me. First of all, i believe in karma. Writing a lot negatives tought will inevitable generate negative result. However, i have try quite a few approach in the past that did not work out. Confronting the person, the person deny it. report to the management, the management dismiss it , ignoring it and end up letting them repeatedly do it even more. Taking a blade and i might charge with attempt murder . Attacking them back (eye for an eye) and karma is the result .

Seriously i had no idea how to handle this. Just quite a few month ago, in a past company. There is one girl who constantly kicking her shoes to my table. Perhaps its true that there a person once said that i always look and had a kind of aura that make others like to attack me out of fun. Probably because i had it since i was a child. I kinda grow up in a bullying environment during my school time. So such victim feeling that was once in my childhood time may have been carry forward . However, i couldn't really dismiss this was a continuous office politics that was done by my one of my ex company staff. Apparently it is because that i had once caught this person with evidence and so now others are trying to cover this person by making my reputation bad . So that others may one day thinks that my evidence is folly and end up falling into this staff trap again. Anyway, my reputation wasn't something that great to start with as i have been fired by my past companies before i even met this person.

I just figure that if something real bad happen to me coz of them. Perhaps this can be the final message that i'll left. All i know is there are a lot of stories about me which i probably don't even know about it. But i do know that if i dislike something , i really dislike it. i don't see any much possibilites anyone can change my view unless it is my corpse that they are hoping to see.

I do wonder if they too are everyday all the time being push over the limit, do they really can be rationale and calm all the time? It is certainly difficult for me as i still have emotions .

though i do not really intend to blog it out and publish things that written such negative, nevertheless i still decide on trying such approach to see if things will change for the better or worse. Who knows that after pouring out my heart content out that suddenly one finds that such matter do not repeat again for decades. Or perhaps i may suddenly get enlighten and thus the lesson for it is completed. Perhaps it may go worse where lawsuit may appear or some future companies decide not to hired me after this (but i do consider cos some of them are wicked and having people who loves to write with the potentiality of ending up critisize through blogging can prove fatal to them).

Since i had no idea yet on how to end such annoyance pattern. I guess this is my next approach to see what will happen after this (whether it become positive , negative ,just the same or nothing happens) . Beside than having little thing that triggers me so much that i might swear i gonna crush all those that hurt me (probably i had swear up to 300 times by now and they are still kicking alive..) , i am basically living in a more lighter life. for me, It wasn't as bad as how others claiming it looks like (apparently they are trying to control the entire state from behind through fear and blackmail) But this also prove that tyranny does not need to begin with someone on top of the government . It simply begin from the human dark heart.